One day, I had just discovered Taylor Swift’s song “Shake It Off.” I was playing this song on my phone, skipping from one college class to another. And I noticed: my posture was much better than it normally was. It seemed that my good mood had naturally squared my shoulders and neck.
This was a big deal for me. You see, my whole life I have been self-conscious about my slump. But despite my embarrassment, and despite well-meaning adults telling my childhood self to “just straighten up,” it seemed to be impossible for me to fix it. If I caught myself slouching and straightened up, within a minute I’d be right back where I’d started. It was impossible to consistently keep my chin up.
“Chin up” really speaks to this idea I’m getting at—that mood and posture are inextricably linked.
That day I found myself straightened up, I thought this was great. If I was happy, I’d have good posture, and I had just reached a part of my life where I’d always be happier than I’d been before. That’s what I thought at the time, anyway. While it’s true that going back to school helped a lot, it didn’t change that my story to myself—that I was happily married—was a lie. In between that day and now, I’ve experienced more grief than I ever had before. During the worst of it, when I felt as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest, leaving a sucking wound, my posture was weird. I would find myself frozen in strange poses with my arms at odd angles and my head turned to one side. It was as though my body was trying to mimic just how disjointed and wrong I felt internally.
Now that I really am experiencing happiness and peace on a regular basis, I don’t hold myself quite so much like a gargoyle as I used to. What I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is not actually how mood affects posture, though. It’s how posture affects mood.
This past year, I finally read Eat, Pray, Love. For anyone else who never read it while it was trendy, I highly recommend it. It’s heartwarming and lovely. I especially love audiobooks that are narrated by the author, and Elizabeth Gilbert has a comforting voice. One caveat to my recommendation is, it stirs emotional trauma up. Gilbert’s story is similar enough to mine that I did a lot of weeping in my car while listening to it. It’s probably good that I released some of that, but if you’re not ready to be reminded of your own personal heartaches, maybe wait a beat before diving in.
One of the things that has most stuck with me from this book is when the Balinese medicine man, Ketut Liyer, tells Gilbert the most basic way he knew how to meditate. He said to sit in silence and smile. Smile with everything; even smile with your liver. I’ve tried it, and you know what? It feels really great. As if your whole self is radiating positivity.
One thing that has been stuck in my head ever since I read it is a line in The Screwtape Letters. The devil Screwtape says of humans, “they constantly forget […] that they are animals and that whatever their bodies do affects their souls.” It’s hard to fall down on your knees and not feel supplication. It’s hard to feel true supplication if you’re standing up and picking your nose.
I’ve found this posture affecting mood phenomena to be true with spreading. I’m sure you’ve heard about how men spread—physically take up more space in a room. Well, I tried something. As a woman, I copied this behavior. I sat with one foot on the other knee, and cast my arms wide out from my body. Really sprawled into a larger space than I’m used to using. What I discovered was that after sitting that way for a while, I felt more confident. Ladies, I highly recommend it.
Everyone, I challenge you to try something. Note how people hold themselves when they feel happy, confident, and stable. Then hold yourself that way. I’m convinced you will feel more happy, confident, and stable than you did before. That’s why I felt lighter while I was dancing to “Shake It Off.” As it turns out, that catchy pop song held some really solid advice.
Bear with me... Moshé Feldenkrais wrote a book a long time ago (Awareness Through Movement) which spurred the Feldenkrais method and ATM classes in health studios all over the place. The premise is that the pathway between the brain and the body works in both directions. We all know you can learn something with your brain and get your body to comply, but it also works in reverse. His method uses movement to heal your mental and emotional state, and it works.
I HIGHLY recommend Psyco-Cybernetics by Maxwell Schwartz (not sure I got the author right)