Travelogue: Stockholm, Sweden, Part 1
Root 41 - Crepes, the tunnelbanan, and the spanking ban.
I've been having quite a bit of trouble lately, keeping up with my publishing schedule. The holdup, over and over, is finding time to record the voiceovers. I've done the writing, the thing I'm here for, but I've put this second hurtle in my way. Well, I've decided to stop being absurd and stop requiring a voiceover from myself for every post. I like doing them, I think they have value, but they're not worth falling down on the job over. So here's my next post, written up long ago, with no voiceover. I hope you can forgive me.
I’ve heard for some time that Sweden has a relatively fair and equitable society. Their social supports are better, for one. But even as a traveler there, I found Stockholm to be welcoming and accessible.
I wanted to eat real Swedish crepes, in Sweden. I found a breakfast place that specialized in them, and went. The cafe had a sign, saying in Swedish something along the lines of: “Did you know about Allemänsratten? You can camp and pick fruit on any public land. Sweden’s specialty is lingonberries, which you can eat for free!”
Most of the land in the US is privately owned, and those without homes are driven from place to place as undesirables. Many places are food deserts, or food swamps, where it’s hard to get basic, nutritious whole foods. Thanks to Allemänsratten, there’s a pressure-release in Sweden. Everyone has the right to camp on any public land (which is plentiful), and take part in the bounty of nature.
The tunnelbanan is a great equalizer. Most people in the US can’t get around unless they own a car. It can be a barrier to getting a job or going to school. Not so in Stockholm. The tunnelbanan connects the city like a great web. Anywhere the tunnelbanan doesn’t reach, the busses probably do. I hopped on and off the public transit system many times during my stay. It was a pleasure to experience such a well-oiled machine, with most of the waits for the next vehicle being 5-10 minutes.
While we were touring the palace, a kid there with his mother was acting up, crying and refusing to move forward. My ex leaned and muttered in my ear that it’s a real shame that spanking isn’t allowed in Sweden. That parents could go to jail for hitting their child. What was the woman supposed to do to discipline her child? Her hands were tied.
Why does a child in tears prompt the idea in some that that child needs to be hit and made to feel pain?
This is one of the biggest differences between his values and mine. There are three basic schools of parenting: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. Authoritarian parents rely on fear and force to control their children, as he was bemoaning this woman’s inability to do. Permissive parents provide very little structure, letting their kids do what they will. Authoritative parents tell their kids what they expect of them, and why. Reasonable loss of privileges is typically used rather than threat of violence.
It’s a lottery, which type of house a child will grow up in. They never chose which style of parenting their parents would ascribe to. And if it’s authoritative, they are doomed to live in fear, failing to make healthy attachments to their parents, which will go on to affect other relationships for the rest of their lives. Outlawing spanking is like saying, “You’ve made the wrong choice of parenting styles; try again.” It is encouraging a more fair and just life for the children in Sweden.
Allemänsratten, a good public transit system, and an outlaw on spanking are three things I believe any society could benefit from having.