A New Year

Root 42 - Enjoying the fruit that is in season.

In the last year, I talked seriously about trying to move to another country. Get my citizenship in the EU, where the life expectancy is older, consumerism isn’t as strong, and social safety nets are more robust. Somewhere where any potential children I might have with my husband could go to college for free, as opposed to college educations saddling them with crushing debt like it had me.

Because of the timing, a few people made the comment, “I guess we’ll see who wins the election, huh?” It truly wasn’t about that, though. I was thinking about moving in about four years, not immediately. I’d make the change when some unknown future candidate from whichever side won the election. It was about something much longer-lasting than an individual term. It was about the entire baked-in culture, one that I couldn’t see changing in the next decade or two.

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Circumstances in my life have changed since I spoke about trying to move, and now it looks like that will probably never happen. Right around the time the horrifying election results came in, that possibility for my future closed.

The next time “Best Year Yet” came up in my playlist, I skipped past it. For the first time in the past three years I’d been in love with this song, I felt as though I couldn’t will it to be true. The year ahead promised to be dark and full of monsters. My grief over the direction our country is headed made the idea—that the next year would be the best one yet—feel like a sick joke.

I’ve been feeling a lot of existential dread, lately. A lot of concern over things that affect so many people, even if they don’t directly impact me all that much. I live in Washington State, a lifeboat of liberalism in this red tsunami. Certain rights, which will be tread all over elsewhere, will remain guaranteed here. Still, everyone is going to get wet on this ride.

I always feel this existential dread, though, whenever I focus too much of my attention on politics. So many systems are so broken, and fail to serve the people. It’s not limited to the other side, either. Corporatism has infected the whole thing, and most every politician is bought in one way or another. Now more than ever, I need to stop letting my existential dread cripple me with despair. I need to focus on my own sphere of influence. Get my own house in order.

Here are my resolutions for the coming year:

• I will continue reading books about healthy parenting, coping, and relationships.

• I will increase the number of times I go to the gym from three times a week to four times a week. (Never skipping more than one day in a row is helpful for developing ingrained habits!)

• I will install new rules for myself for online shopping, such as only buying things I can’t find at an in-person store. (Online shopping feeds the corporatism monster, and I want no part in it.)

• I will continue attempting to live a more balanced life, with real rest, taking on healthy stress, and setting intentions.

• I will keep remind myself that while not every day has enough time to contain everything I want to do, life is long, and there are seasons for what can be accomplished. I will try to fully explore each season, without worrying about what’s not in season.

There is nothing I can do about the world being set to get smashed around me. What I can do is focus inward. I can grow my inner peace by continuing to treat myself right. I can keep working to be a healthier version of myself.

The fruit that is in season right now is my home life. I will focus my efforts there, instead of wasting energy worrying about what else is going wrong. In that way, this next year can still be the best year yet.

Wishing each and every one of you the same.